Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
PFAWL
Pinellas FAWL--Pinellas County Chapter of the Florida Association of Women Lawyers is hosting the next membership drive on September 7, 2010 at Pete & Shorty’s Tavern (2820 Gulf to Bay Blvd. Clearwater, FL 33759). We welcome all!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Professional Women and Domestic Violence
Professional Women and Domestic Violence
The common belief that domestic violence occurs primarily in lower-income families is inaccurate. Professional women with good jobs and financial security also find themselves in abusive relationships with men. In many cases, these women find dealing with the problem even more difficult than poor women do because the violence is more unexpected and they are often less willing to utilize the social services that could help them escape from their abuser.Stereotypical SceneFor most people, the phrase “domestic violence” summons a stereotypical scene: police pounding on the door of a ramshackle house; a man loudly, perhaps drunkenly, declaring his innocence; a woman crying. But for a vast number of middle- or upper-class women, many of them professionals, domestic violence is a secret, usually silent affair. They are prisoners of their world, but for many reasons they feel compelled to don a mask of normalcy. In spite of their bruises and scars, they may not even admit that they are victims. And until they fully acknowledge what is happening to them—a process that can take years—the very last thing they want to do is make their situation public.White-Collar VictimsDefinitive statistics on these white-collar victims are hard to come by, especially because shame or fear of reprisal makes them reluctant to report the crime. The Justice Department’s 1994 National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) found that only about half the women who suffered domestic abuse between 1987 and 1991 reported it to the police. As incredible as it may seem, Family Violence: Crime and Justice, a 1989 book that reviewed the research on the subject, projected that one-fifth to one-third of all women could be assaulted by an intimate at some point. And the perception that most victims are poor and uneducated is clearly distorted. The NCVS found less than a 10% difference in the rate of family violence between those with household incomes of less than $10,000 and those earning more than $50,000. “Women of means are just as trapped as women on welfare,” says Carol Arthur, the director of the Domestic Abuse Project in Minneapolis, a nonprofit program that aids victims. “The stories and issues are all the same. There are just different barriers to leaving the relationship.”White-Collar MythPerhaps the greatest myth about white-collar domestic violence is that its victims should be able to arrange smooth, bloodless departures because, unlike poor women, they are blessed with financial and social resources. “The irony is how hard it can be even for women who earn more than the men they’re involved with to leave,” says Sharon Rice Vaughn, who co-founded one of the first battered-women’s shelters in the country in 1972 in St. Paul. “It is particularly hard for professional, highly paid women to believe that battering is happening to them.” One TV reporter was blind to the warning signs in her own relationship even though she had covered a number of domestic-violence cases. “I was in denial that I could be an abused woman because I’m smart, I’m professional, I know a lot of cops,” she says. “And there was this constant self-questioning-—is it really as bad as I think it is?” Experts say the confusion is compounded by a Gaslight [a movie by Alfred Hitchcock in which a husband schemes to convince his wife that she is going insane] effect created by the sporadic, random nature of the abuse; the victim wonders whether she really is being brutalized or whether the attacks are somehow her fault. The effect is even more potent when there’s a strong desire to keep the relationship intact. “It’s about wanting it to be a one-time thing,” notes a domestic-abuse counselor.Fear of ExposureIn addition, professional women are trapped by a fear of exposure. “That’s the abuser’s secret emotional blackmail,” says Rice Vaughn. “If you have a reputation, your reputation will be ruined.” In fact, women who earn more or are more successful than their partners can be more vulnerable targets than women of like status to their husbands,” according to Evan Stark, co-director of the Domestic Violence Training Project in New Haven, 40% of whose clients are middle and upper-class victims of domestic abuse. “Those men are compensating by resorting to socially condoned male dominance,” explains Rice Vaughn. “It becomes their form of revenge. It’s as though she is being blamed for his failures—if she weren’t so successful, he wouldn’t be seen as less successful.”So Much to LoseProfessional women usually have a great deal to lose by severing ties with their abusers, often including an expensive home in an exclusive neighborhood, their social standing in the community, their financial security and a superior education for their children. Because so much is riding on the perpetuation of their marriage, they may lack supporters— even among their own families.Abuser’s HavenThere is also the problem of a legal system that one victim characterizes as an “abuser’s haven.” Women trying to divorce wealthy, established husbands typically find themselves ensnarled in court battles for years. Finally, the fact remains that when a man is intent upon killing his wife, there is no sure way to prevent it. One distinguished judge whose husband was arrested for assaulting her says, “I have not even tried to get a divorce, because I believe it would be fatal.” She stipulated that she could not, under any circumstances, be identified. “Absence of malice,” she says, in a reference to the libel defense, “won’t help me when I’m dead.”Killing their CareersAside from the physical and emotional toll, domestic violence can exert a crushing weight on a career. In a 1987 survey from the New York Victim Service Agency, three-quarters of 50 employed battered women reported being harassed by their abusers at work. And half of them reported missing three or more days a month because of their abuse. Another survey, conducted in Duluth, Minnesota, found that of 71 abused working women, nearly a quarer reported losing a job at least partly because of their abusive partners; in addition, one-third of 42 battered Duluth women reported that their partners had prohibited them from working altogether. Finally, because of the numerous daytime court appearances that may be required, paticularly when child custody is at issue, victims of domestic violence are at risk of being penalized or fired for absenteeism, lateness or decreased productivity.The Powerful AbuserFor professional women married to abusers who are also power brokers out to preserve their reputations, the road to freedom can be virtually endless—and carpeted with broken glass. Money offers these men a way to perpetuate the psychic pain through the courts; the more money, the more tools the abuser holds and the longer the battle rages.Some observers consider the plight of women who are victimized by such men qualitatively worse than that of women whose husbands, however brutal, lack the financial toolbox to manipulate the judicial system. “Society goes after the little guy,” notes one victim, “but the big guys are clever, and they won’t give up until they destroy you.”Leaving for the ChildrenMost abused women experience a moment when they resolve to get out of the relationship at any cost. Most experts consider the issue of child custody and visitation one of the biggest problems, if not the biggest one, faced by women in domestic-violence cases. Only 40 states have statutes stipulating that domestic-violence charges may be presented in custody cases. In Evan Stark’s opinion, shared custody is “completely inappropriate in domestic-abuse cases.” He calls it “tangential spouse abuse,” because the man typically uses the child to continue to exercise control over the woman with threats and psychological torture, and, in some cases, it gives him opportunities to physically abuse her.The Price of FreedomAlthough domestic violence discriminates along gender lines rather than class lines, professional women have one advantage over poor women: their job skills and education. It is precisely because they have independent incomes, says Stark, that some white-collar women are able to extricate themselves.Still, any advantages women of means may have over poor and bluecollar women are minimal, says Carol Arthur. “White-collar women are like all other women in terms of getting sucked into the psychological and emotional abuse that traps them,” she says. “All the messages we got growing up taught us to define ourselves in terms of our relationships.” In the end, having the emotional strength to leave that notion behind is what really sets one woman apart from another.- Not to People Like Us. Weitzman, Susan, Ph.D. Basic Books: New York. 2000
The common belief that domestic violence occurs primarily in lower-income families is inaccurate. Professional women with good jobs and financial security also find themselves in abusive relationships with men. In many cases, these women find dealing with the problem even more difficult than poor women do because the violence is more unexpected and they are often less willing to utilize the social services that could help them escape from their abuser.Stereotypical SceneFor most people, the phrase “domestic violence” summons a stereotypical scene: police pounding on the door of a ramshackle house; a man loudly, perhaps drunkenly, declaring his innocence; a woman crying. But for a vast number of middle- or upper-class women, many of them professionals, domestic violence is a secret, usually silent affair. They are prisoners of their world, but for many reasons they feel compelled to don a mask of normalcy. In spite of their bruises and scars, they may not even admit that they are victims. And until they fully acknowledge what is happening to them—a process that can take years—the very last thing they want to do is make their situation public.White-Collar VictimsDefinitive statistics on these white-collar victims are hard to come by, especially because shame or fear of reprisal makes them reluctant to report the crime. The Justice Department’s 1994 National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) found that only about half the women who suffered domestic abuse between 1987 and 1991 reported it to the police. As incredible as it may seem, Family Violence: Crime and Justice, a 1989 book that reviewed the research on the subject, projected that one-fifth to one-third of all women could be assaulted by an intimate at some point. And the perception that most victims are poor and uneducated is clearly distorted. The NCVS found less than a 10% difference in the rate of family violence between those with household incomes of less than $10,000 and those earning more than $50,000. “Women of means are just as trapped as women on welfare,” says Carol Arthur, the director of the Domestic Abuse Project in Minneapolis, a nonprofit program that aids victims. “The stories and issues are all the same. There are just different barriers to leaving the relationship.”White-Collar MythPerhaps the greatest myth about white-collar domestic violence is that its victims should be able to arrange smooth, bloodless departures because, unlike poor women, they are blessed with financial and social resources. “The irony is how hard it can be even for women who earn more than the men they’re involved with to leave,” says Sharon Rice Vaughn, who co-founded one of the first battered-women’s shelters in the country in 1972 in St. Paul. “It is particularly hard for professional, highly paid women to believe that battering is happening to them.” One TV reporter was blind to the warning signs in her own relationship even though she had covered a number of domestic-violence cases. “I was in denial that I could be an abused woman because I’m smart, I’m professional, I know a lot of cops,” she says. “And there was this constant self-questioning-—is it really as bad as I think it is?” Experts say the confusion is compounded by a Gaslight [a movie by Alfred Hitchcock in which a husband schemes to convince his wife that she is going insane] effect created by the sporadic, random nature of the abuse; the victim wonders whether she really is being brutalized or whether the attacks are somehow her fault. The effect is even more potent when there’s a strong desire to keep the relationship intact. “It’s about wanting it to be a one-time thing,” notes a domestic-abuse counselor.Fear of ExposureIn addition, professional women are trapped by a fear of exposure. “That’s the abuser’s secret emotional blackmail,” says Rice Vaughn. “If you have a reputation, your reputation will be ruined.” In fact, women who earn more or are more successful than their partners can be more vulnerable targets than women of like status to their husbands,” according to Evan Stark, co-director of the Domestic Violence Training Project in New Haven, 40% of whose clients are middle and upper-class victims of domestic abuse. “Those men are compensating by resorting to socially condoned male dominance,” explains Rice Vaughn. “It becomes their form of revenge. It’s as though she is being blamed for his failures—if she weren’t so successful, he wouldn’t be seen as less successful.”So Much to LoseProfessional women usually have a great deal to lose by severing ties with their abusers, often including an expensive home in an exclusive neighborhood, their social standing in the community, their financial security and a superior education for their children. Because so much is riding on the perpetuation of their marriage, they may lack supporters— even among their own families.Abuser’s HavenThere is also the problem of a legal system that one victim characterizes as an “abuser’s haven.” Women trying to divorce wealthy, established husbands typically find themselves ensnarled in court battles for years. Finally, the fact remains that when a man is intent upon killing his wife, there is no sure way to prevent it. One distinguished judge whose husband was arrested for assaulting her says, “I have not even tried to get a divorce, because I believe it would be fatal.” She stipulated that she could not, under any circumstances, be identified. “Absence of malice,” she says, in a reference to the libel defense, “won’t help me when I’m dead.”Killing their CareersAside from the physical and emotional toll, domestic violence can exert a crushing weight on a career. In a 1987 survey from the New York Victim Service Agency, three-quarters of 50 employed battered women reported being harassed by their abusers at work. And half of them reported missing three or more days a month because of their abuse. Another survey, conducted in Duluth, Minnesota, found that of 71 abused working women, nearly a quarer reported losing a job at least partly because of their abusive partners; in addition, one-third of 42 battered Duluth women reported that their partners had prohibited them from working altogether. Finally, because of the numerous daytime court appearances that may be required, paticularly when child custody is at issue, victims of domestic violence are at risk of being penalized or fired for absenteeism, lateness or decreased productivity.The Powerful AbuserFor professional women married to abusers who are also power brokers out to preserve their reputations, the road to freedom can be virtually endless—and carpeted with broken glass. Money offers these men a way to perpetuate the psychic pain through the courts; the more money, the more tools the abuser holds and the longer the battle rages.Some observers consider the plight of women who are victimized by such men qualitatively worse than that of women whose husbands, however brutal, lack the financial toolbox to manipulate the judicial system. “Society goes after the little guy,” notes one victim, “but the big guys are clever, and they won’t give up until they destroy you.”Leaving for the ChildrenMost abused women experience a moment when they resolve to get out of the relationship at any cost. Most experts consider the issue of child custody and visitation one of the biggest problems, if not the biggest one, faced by women in domestic-violence cases. Only 40 states have statutes stipulating that domestic-violence charges may be presented in custody cases. In Evan Stark’s opinion, shared custody is “completely inappropriate in domestic-abuse cases.” He calls it “tangential spouse abuse,” because the man typically uses the child to continue to exercise control over the woman with threats and psychological torture, and, in some cases, it gives him opportunities to physically abuse her.The Price of FreedomAlthough domestic violence discriminates along gender lines rather than class lines, professional women have one advantage over poor women: their job skills and education. It is precisely because they have independent incomes, says Stark, that some white-collar women are able to extricate themselves.Still, any advantages women of means may have over poor and bluecollar women are minimal, says Carol Arthur. “White-collar women are like all other women in terms of getting sucked into the psychological and emotional abuse that traps them,” she says. “All the messages we got growing up taught us to define ourselves in terms of our relationships.” In the end, having the emotional strength to leave that notion behind is what really sets one woman apart from another.- Not to People Like Us. Weitzman, Susan, Ph.D. Basic Books: New York. 2000
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Husband dumps his wife with online message in 'world's first divorce by Facebook'
Millions of people use it every day to pass on harmless snippets of gossip to friends and family.
But the message Emma Brady's husband posted on Facebook could not have been more devastating.
It read: 'Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady.'
Mrs Brady, a 35-year-old conference organiser, claims she had no idea he even wanted a divorce, and only found out when a friend, who read the post on the social networking website, rang to console her.
To make matters worse, she discovered someone else had commented on the site that her husband was 'better off out of it'.
Yesterday Mrs Brady spoke about her hurt and embarrassment that the end of her marriage had been plastered across the Internet, allegedly before her husband had informed her.
'The first I knew about it was when I received a phone call at work from my best friend, who lives in Denmark,' she said.
'She asked me if I was okay because of what Neil had put on Facebook: "Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady". I was shell-shocked.
'I have had people who I haven't spoken to for years contacting me asking what is going on.
'I only joined Facebook because the girls at work said it was good fun. What upset me the most was not the fact that Neil had written he had ended his marriage, but the comment from a girl in Canada who said: "You are better off out of it". It hurt me that he had been speaking to someone else about it.'
Mrs Brady said she waited until she got home before confronting him.
'I asked Neil if he had anything to tell me and he simply said no,' she said. 'He acted like everything was fine so we carried on as normal.'
Happier times: Emma and Neil Brady on their wedding day
The 'Facebook divorce' emerged as Brady, a 39-year-old IT consultant, was brought to court for assaulting his wife.
The couple, from Accrington, Lancashire, had struggled on following last July's bombshell, but their six-year marriage disintegrated in a row in the runup to Christmas, Blackburn magistrates heard.
Brady claimed his wife had been seen with another man and in the row that followed he threw her out of the house, injuring her wrist, and locked her in the back garden.
He pleaded guilty and was fined £580 and ordered to pay £100 compensation.
Brady, who is now living with his mother, insists he had talked to his wife about separation. 'I'd had enough of her'.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1136503/Husband-dumps-wife-online-message-worlds-divorce-Facebook.html#ixzz0oQcBD44h
But the message Emma Brady's husband posted on Facebook could not have been more devastating.
It read: 'Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady.'
Mrs Brady, a 35-year-old conference organiser, claims she had no idea he even wanted a divorce, and only found out when a friend, who read the post on the social networking website, rang to console her.
To make matters worse, she discovered someone else had commented on the site that her husband was 'better off out of it'.
Yesterday Mrs Brady spoke about her hurt and embarrassment that the end of her marriage had been plastered across the Internet, allegedly before her husband had informed her.
'The first I knew about it was when I received a phone call at work from my best friend, who lives in Denmark,' she said.
'She asked me if I was okay because of what Neil had put on Facebook: "Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady". I was shell-shocked.
'I have had people who I haven't spoken to for years contacting me asking what is going on.
'I only joined Facebook because the girls at work said it was good fun. What upset me the most was not the fact that Neil had written he had ended his marriage, but the comment from a girl in Canada who said: "You are better off out of it". It hurt me that he had been speaking to someone else about it.'
Mrs Brady said she waited until she got home before confronting him.
'I asked Neil if he had anything to tell me and he simply said no,' she said. 'He acted like everything was fine so we carried on as normal.'
Happier times: Emma and Neil Brady on their wedding day
The 'Facebook divorce' emerged as Brady, a 39-year-old IT consultant, was brought to court for assaulting his wife.
The couple, from Accrington, Lancashire, had struggled on following last July's bombshell, but their six-year marriage disintegrated in a row in the runup to Christmas, Blackburn magistrates heard.
Brady claimed his wife had been seen with another man and in the row that followed he threw her out of the house, injuring her wrist, and locked her in the back garden.
He pleaded guilty and was fined £580 and ordered to pay £100 compensation.
Brady, who is now living with his mother, insists he had talked to his wife about separation. 'I'd had enough of her'.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1136503/Husband-dumps-wife-online-message-worlds-divorce-Facebook.html#ixzz0oQcBD44h
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Mary Farren says her husband beat her while he was serving as an attorney for President Bush in the White House
By Pete Kotz in Politicians, assault, celebrity crime, homicide
Friday, Jan. 8 2010 @ 9:32AM
25 comment(s)
UPDATE: Mary Farren says her husband beat her while he was serving as an attorney for President Bush in the White House. She's still hospitalized with a broken jaw, facial fractures, and lacerations, and says she fears for her life. See update after the jump...
Mary Farren tried to deliver divorce papers to her husband John Farren, the former deputy White House counsel to President George W. Bush. But hubby didn't want a divorce, and her urged his wife to reconsider. She was afraid of his temper and refused.So Farren tackled her in a bedroom at their New Canaan, Connecticut home and ripped out a clump of her hair. Then he beat her with a metal flashlight until Mary lost consciousness. When she woke up, he was still pounding away.
Mary Farren was beaten and strangled by her husband in front of their children at their Connecticut homeHe began to strangle her as she was again losing consciousness. Despite barely being able to see, she managed to trigger the home's alarm system. Farren started beating her again and threatened to slit his wrists. He grabbed a large knife and went to the bathroom, coaxing his wife to follow. But Mary instead ran to her daughter's bedroom yelling "Daddy's trying to kill me!" according to a police report.Mary managed to escape with her 7-year-old daughter and the couple's baby. She fled in a BMW before stopping at a home to call police. Farren is the former general counsel at Xerox and once served as undersecretary for international trade under George Bush the Elder. He also worked as George H.W. Bush's deputy campaign manager in 1992 before being named to George W. Bush's White House legal team in 2007.But despite being a bigshot lawyer, he seems unaware that not even bigshot political appointees get to kill their wives -- especially in front of their children. Though the Bush administration's constant yammering on "family values" always seemed loaded with hypocrisy, this is taking that hypocrisy much too far. Farren is now being held on $2 million bail for strangulation and attempted murder. Mary, a bigshot lawyer herself at the Skadden, Arps firm in Washington, D.C., is in stable condition at the hospital with a broken nose, broken jaw and other injuries.
John Farren served as a top White House lawyer for President Bush and a campaign manager for his fatherUPDATE: From her hospital bed, Mary Farren says she fears for her life.She told police that she's fearful her husband, if released, will try to kill her and possibly their 7-year-old and 4-month-old daughters too. "She adamantly wanted the police and court to know that he has an explosive and uncontrollable temper and he will kill her," according to the police report.Farren's now being held in jail on a suicide watch. His bail has been set at $2 million. Police believe he may have attempted suicide after brutally attacking his wife. He showed scarring on his neck that seemed to match his belt.Mary says this wasn't the first time her husband attacked her. She says he also beat her three years ago, about the time he became deputy White House counsel to President Bush. The creep shouldn't have any trouble making bail. The house he beat his wife in is 4,300-square-feet and valued at $4.8 million.
Friday, Jan. 8 2010 @ 9:32AM
25 comment(s)
UPDATE: Mary Farren says her husband beat her while he was serving as an attorney for President Bush in the White House. She's still hospitalized with a broken jaw, facial fractures, and lacerations, and says she fears for her life. See update after the jump...
Mary Farren tried to deliver divorce papers to her husband John Farren, the former deputy White House counsel to President George W. Bush. But hubby didn't want a divorce, and her urged his wife to reconsider. She was afraid of his temper and refused.So Farren tackled her in a bedroom at their New Canaan, Connecticut home and ripped out a clump of her hair. Then he beat her with a metal flashlight until Mary lost consciousness. When she woke up, he was still pounding away.
Mary Farren was beaten and strangled by her husband in front of their children at their Connecticut homeHe began to strangle her as she was again losing consciousness. Despite barely being able to see, she managed to trigger the home's alarm system. Farren started beating her again and threatened to slit his wrists. He grabbed a large knife and went to the bathroom, coaxing his wife to follow. But Mary instead ran to her daughter's bedroom yelling "Daddy's trying to kill me!" according to a police report.Mary managed to escape with her 7-year-old daughter and the couple's baby. She fled in a BMW before stopping at a home to call police. Farren is the former general counsel at Xerox and once served as undersecretary for international trade under George Bush the Elder. He also worked as George H.W. Bush's deputy campaign manager in 1992 before being named to George W. Bush's White House legal team in 2007.But despite being a bigshot lawyer, he seems unaware that not even bigshot political appointees get to kill their wives -- especially in front of their children. Though the Bush administration's constant yammering on "family values" always seemed loaded with hypocrisy, this is taking that hypocrisy much too far. Farren is now being held on $2 million bail for strangulation and attempted murder. Mary, a bigshot lawyer herself at the Skadden, Arps firm in Washington, D.C., is in stable condition at the hospital with a broken nose, broken jaw and other injuries.
John Farren served as a top White House lawyer for President Bush and a campaign manager for his fatherUPDATE: From her hospital bed, Mary Farren says she fears for her life.She told police that she's fearful her husband, if released, will try to kill her and possibly their 7-year-old and 4-month-old daughters too. "She adamantly wanted the police and court to know that he has an explosive and uncontrollable temper and he will kill her," according to the police report.Farren's now being held in jail on a suicide watch. His bail has been set at $2 million. Police believe he may have attempted suicide after brutally attacking his wife. He showed scarring on his neck that seemed to match his belt.Mary says this wasn't the first time her husband attacked her. She says he also beat her three years ago, about the time he became deputy White House counsel to President Bush. The creep shouldn't have any trouble making bail. The house he beat his wife in is 4,300-square-feet and valued at $4.8 million.
Help is available for victims of Domestic Violence!
http://www.casa-stpete.org/ Please seek help as soon as you become a victim!
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